This final edition of the RFTN newsletter for 2021 comes to you on the first business day of the New Year — I wanted to wait until 2022 stuck the landing before proclaiming its arrival. So far I haven’t heard any clamoring that the new calendar contains invalid days or is otherwise fraudulent and needs to be rolled back to the previous timeframe.
As we stand atop the January mountain, things do look a little downhill from here: ongoing pandemic concerns, continued Congressional dysfunction, the looming shadow of Trump’s influence, inflation woes… but on the bright side, Dr. Oz’s show has been canceled!
Anyway, I penned just a few verses for December due to the usual holiday chaos and also because I was sidelined with a sore back for about ten days, so sitting at the keyboard, much less thinking creatively, was somewhat stifled. But it’s (officially) a new year, my back is feeling much better, and I’m optimistic enough about getting through the Omicron variant that I’ve booked a trip to attend a writing seminar this spring.
The theme to this edition’s postings is if you proceed with enough faith in your own ambitions and ignore the naysayers, you too can be served a Congressional subpoena:
Snow Angels (posted December 4, 2021)
Sometimes, even multinational corporate entities can offer a genuine kindness to their employees and customers:
In northern Denmark, an IKEA showroom turned into a vast bedroom. Six customers and about two dozen employees were stranded by a snowstorm and spent the night in the store, sleeping in the beds that are usually on show.
Up to 30 centimeters (12 inches) of snow fell, trapping the customers and employees when the department store in Aalborg closed on Wednesday evening.
“We slept in the furniture exhibitions and our showroom on the first floor, where we have beds, mattresses and sofa beds,” store manager Peter Elmose told the Ekstra Bladet tabloid. People could “pick the exact bed they always have wanted to try.”
Elmose said they spent the evening watching television and eating, adding it went “super well. It’s been a good night. All fun.”
[Read more here: https://bit.ly/32LJhLh]
My favorite thing to do on those rare occasions I’ve set foot in an IKEA is to come up with faux-Swedish names for those few items out for sale that aren’t otherwise labeled. I saw a display of toilet seats and decided those should be marketed as “Sittenschïttzen.”
Please, Bee – Leave Me (December 19, 2021)
I’ve been stung several times by real estate transactions, but not quite like this:
A Florida couple recently bade farewell to some uninvited house guests: a colony of as many as 80,000 honey bees that had invaded their shower wall.
The colony’s size astounded even Elisha Bixler, the professional beekeeper whom the couple, Stefanie and Dan Graham of St. Petersburg, Fla., had enlisted to get them out of the sticky situation.
“There was honey everywhere: walls, floor, on my shoes, doorknobs,” Ms. Bixler recounted in an interview on Wednesday. “I had to pull the wall down to the studs to get all of the comb out.”
She estimated there were about 80,000 bees and 100 pounds of honey when she removed the seven-foot-tall hive in early November after prying away the bathroom tiles…
[Read more here: https://nyti.ms/3mhLViw]
As mentioned in previous editions of this newsletter, we spent much of 2021’s spring and summer consumed with a home renovation. Much of the attic space was accessed as part of the expansion and I can’t even remember all the creatures the contractor came across, some mummified and some still thriving: bats, birds, rodents, venomous spiders. Sadly, no cache of tightly-wrapped hundred-dollar bills, or well-aged whiskey, or complete collections of National Geographic.
Bonus Verse! 2021 in (brief) Review
This one wasn’t created expressly for RFTN. I belong to an organization — the National Society of Newspaper Columnists — and was asked to contribute a year-end poem to include in their January 2022 newsletter. I was flattered to be asked, not least of which because I am not, in fact, a newspaper columnist (at least, not yet — still working on that). But they do include bloggers in their ranks by welcoming “other writers of the serial essay.” (Well, the laugh’s still on them since I don’t really write essays, either.) But it’s a great group of people, and I’ve always had a deep and abiding interest in journalism and reportorial commentary, and I’ve established some rewarding friendships among the membership.
Anyway, this is the verse I came up with for them. I’ve edited the last couple of lines, which in the original post reference their upcoming 2022 conference (fingers crossed, in person), and substituted a more fitting ending for you, dear reader:
2021 is done – it won’t be called the greatest year.
Covid we could not outrun, with Omicron the latest fear.
Sports went on despite the risk; tried protocols to make it safe.
Jeffrey Epstein’s odalisque got jail time for procuring naifs.
Trump impeached a second time, because of insurrectionists.
NFTs arrive and I’m confused: “Just what the heck is this?”
Pulled out of Afghanistan and look who turned up: ISIS-K.
CDC’s advice was panned; the risks they can’t concisely say.
The Ever Given cargo ship got stuck while traveling through the Suez.
Billionaires are flying into space – it’s on the evening new-ez.
Infrastructure bill was passed; the voting was bipartisan.
Andrew Cuomo – he harassed; proved he was not the smartest man.
Bonus payments were dispersed, all part of Covid stimulus.
VP sounded unrehearsed; staff exits were continuous.
Tokyo Olympics were conducted without butts in bleachers.
School year was disrupted, causing angst for students and their teachers.
Texans nearly froze to death when left without a power source.
Tesla cars can drive themselves (as long as they don’t crash, of course).
IPO becomes passe; new startups now rely on SPAC.
Trump just will not go away while angling for his second act.
You can pay for nearly anything these days if you use crypto,
although you’ll pay dearly for a new house while still feeling gypped, though.
Democrats – the lot of them – fought internecine battles raucous;
GOP would not condemn the rantings from a far-right caucus.
Airlines canceled many flights, and passengers got into rumbles.
Prices on the rise at record pace set off inflation grumbles.
This year saw a surge in the amount of border crossings made.
SCOTUS caused uncertainty re: legacy of Roe v. Wade.
Summer brought relief from throes of Covid deaths; a too-short respite.
As far as this pandemic goes – for it to end soon, we’re all desperate.
For those who hope for better news in 2022 – stop squirming:
Focus most on who you love and what you find is life-affirming!
Happy New Year, best wishes for health and prosperity.
JB