The How The Flighty Have Fallen Edition
First Days of Autumn, 2024
Hello Friends and Enemas!
(Sorry… I have a colonoscopy scheduled for mid-October and am already fretting over the prep.)
As we continue to count down to November’s election, one of the candidates (hint: I frequently spill “T” about him) becomes more and more unraveled, in real-time, right before our eyes. His running mate isn’t any better, and I’m hard-pressed to come up with the name of a single person affiliated with a certain political party (hint: its members and positions leave me GOP-smacked) who isn’t drowning in the same sludge.
Therefore: a host of light verse reflecting on this chaos:
A Triptych of Tricks (9/3/2024)
Trump spoke at a “Moms For Liberty” gathering (that group’s name defines irony) and spun many heads… er, tales. Gender reassignment surgery taking place in schools, God spared him from that bullet in PA (little did he know God wasn’t done testing him yet), and he stated he had every right to interfere with the last election.
Bob and the Weave (9/6/2024)
A phalanx of alleged English professors (no doubt all Trump University Ph.D. recipients) have allegedly told allegedly qualified Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump that his meandering form of speech is actually “brilliant.” He calls it “the weave” — others refer to it as “word salad,” or the Gordian Knot of Incomprehensibility.
Feigning Cats and Dogs (9/11/2024)
A Facebook post about a missing cat, who was found several days later in the owner’s basement, led to an unfounded, racist rumor about the dietary habits of Haitian immigrants in an Ohio town, productive and valuable members of the community who have every legal right to be there. JD Vance jumped on it (supposedly at the urging of completely unhinged Trump sycophant Laura Loomer), Trump took it as gospel, and despite the entire situation being completely debunked (with Vance later admitting it was a false narrative), it’s still being brought up on the campaign trail. These people have no shame.
No Debate About It (9/13/2024)
Trump didn’t win the first debate so much as Biden lost it (somewhat figuratively as well as literally), and he didn’t win the second debate so much as he took Kamala’s bait and swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. He called the implosion against Harris his “greatest debate ever” while simultaneously crying it was unfair. He then backed away from his proclamation to debate his opponent anywhere, any time… He got the part right about declaring victory; he just forgot to go home afterward.
Pet Peevish (9/19/2024)
I’ve wasted enough time complaining about Vance already. Until the VP debate is over, anyway.
Semitic-Hating Circumstances (9/20/2024)
If Trump loses the election, it will be the fault of the cheating Dems / the Jews / the Catholics / RINOs / the senior citizens… everyone but him. Anyone who votes for Harris should “have their head examined” — talk about projection.
The Fix Is In (9/21/2024)
Facebook took this down immediately after I posted it, claiming I tried to get likes, follows, or shares in a misleading way. Second time that’s happened to me. Notoriety has not followed.
Run-on Insentience (9/25/2024)
Sharyl Attkisson, no friend of the Left, put Trump in his place so effectively with her follow-up to his meandering “answer” that he didn’t even feel the dagger being inserted.
Here’s the video of this impressive response, from which I selected certain phrases and inserted them into the above verse verbatim:
OK, enough of the politics — here’s a straightforward, non-political, ha-ha piece that includes only the briefest mention of Trump and Vance…
Oy, Sur-vey (9/26/2024)
That’s all for now, folks! Hoping none of you faced any challenges from Hurricane Helene.
~ JB