This year’s March up here in central Maine was the reverse of the Lion/Lamb folklore expectation — the month started out with highs occasionally in the 50s, yet ended with the largest snow of the season and colder temps. Also more rain, but these days that’s a given.
Our lake is filled up to and nearly beyond capacity. We jumped through a number of hoops to acquire an exemption from flood insurance after we moved into our lakefront home in 2014, since the water level is managed as part of a dam system and should never, in theory, reach flood levels. But… but… but… this winter brought record-setting amounts of precipitation, mostly in huge droplet vs. gentle flake form, and the lake is well above what the watershed district calls “full pond” for this time of year. Yikes.
Fortunately, the house is watertight, and so far nothing’s risen up to the level of the foundation. Whether that is going to continue to be the case until we hit summer and evaporation plays its part in managing the lake level — we shall see.
Onward with the month’s watery attempts at humor.
Speaking of drowning from an unexpected deluge… who would have anticipated seeing a GOP rising star go full-on psychotic during her televised debut on the national stage? Or Trump hawking a Bible (without bursting into flames)?
Politics first:
Katie Bar the Door (March 3, 2024)
The junior senator from Alabama certainly garnered headlines for her response to Biden’s SOTU. Just not the ones she anticipated.
Britt’s Impossible (March 10, 2024)
The devil, ‘tis said, is in the details. Didn’t take long to parse out fact (little to none) from fiction (abundant) in the immediate aftermath of Katie’s “rebuttal.”
The Less Said (March 16, 2024)
They say people who were bullied in childhood grow up to become bullies themselves. And yet, somehow — I feel no empathy for what DJT obviously went through in his formative years.
If It Bleeds, It Leads (March 17, 2024)
There really isn’t any way to innocuously work the word “bloodbath” into a political campaign. Nor was that Trump’s intent here.
He’s Selling a Bible? Holy Writ! (March 28, 2024)
The only product left for Trump to endorse by now would be Depends, right?
—
My vow at the start of the month was to focus more on the “me” humor and less on the latest batch of political despair. This was my only success:
Clef Palatable (March 3, 2024)
If anyone said my playing of this piece was flat, I could respond, “That’s the way it was written!”
I’ll skip right past any mention of April Fools’ Day — which is strictly for amateur humorists — and focus instead on mentioning I’ll be on my way to the 2024 Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop later this week. For the 400+ who will be in attendance, it’s a jam-packed schedule of keynote addresses from well-known authors, tutorials, interactive sessions, and — most importantly — a chance to reunite with old friends from the humor writing community while making new ones.
I was flattered to be asked to be part of a panel to welcome first-time attendees, particularly since I’ve only been to “Erma” one other time (in 2022).
I plan to be my usual warm, charming, inviting self to put the newbies at ease.
April Fool!