It’s the night before Thanksgiving, and all through the house there’s the aroma of things-to-be-cooked-tomorrow: dressing, casseroles, pies, and a turkey that’s been defrosting in the refrigerator for days longer than the packaging said it would take to do so.
This year we have a few friends joining us, so we’re doing a whole turkey. Most years, though, it’s just the three of us (me, my wife Carol, and whichever recent Pulitzer Prize winner drops in); for such a small crowd, I smoke a turkey breast on the grill. Some years, I also smoke a cigar while encouraging the turkey breast to follow suit, albeit with charcoal.
(By the way, is “small crowd” an oxymoron?)
Our first Boston apartment had a charcoal grill in the building courtyard, the rectangular ones on a post like you find in municipal parks. One year, we invited another couple to join us for dinner, and I did my best to prepare two turkey breasts (one for our company, one for leftovers) on that grill, operating without any way to accurately control heat or airflow as is normally required when smoking meats. Nevertheless, I persisted — and, much to my surprise, both turned out nicely. I brought them up to our apartment and began to slice one for our meal, not noticing the carving board was perched precariously close to the edge of the counter. Three slices in and PLOP! The platter overturned and the partially-denuded turkey breast fell to the floor. Thankfully… I had a backup ready to go.
It’s been years — decades, actually — since I’ve been to a big, family-is-gathering Thanksgiving dinner. In fact, the only one I recall was when I was nine or maybe ten years old, at my uncle’s house in Scarsdale, NY. One kid in attendance, from my aunt’s side of the family and a little older than me, insisted I had to put ketchup on my turkey, instead of gravy. I thought, “Why not?” and did so, much to my regret.
The only Thanksgiving meals worse than that one were those my mother prepared for us. She could not handle cooking an entire turkey or any of its bodily parts; she would instead purchase a “turkey roll” which, as far as texture and taste go, is something assembled from the bird’s beak and feathers. It smelled and tasted awful, and I never asked for seconds. The highlight of those meals (a very low bar) was a Mrs. Smith’s pumpkin pie, which my mother always managed to take from the freezer and burn to a crisp and yet it was *still* an improvement over the main course.
Over the years, I’ve written several Thanksgiving and holiday-adjacent posts. Here are links to the older ones, if you care to reminisce. [Trigger warning — several of these are Trump-themed]:
Putting the Angst in Thanksgiving (Nov. 23, 2016)
Repast Due (Nov. 21, 2019)
Most Fowl, Strange And Unusual (Nov. 27, 2019)
Flynn-Credulous (Nov. 26, 2020)
Harvest Croon (Nov. 25, 2021 — with audio!)
And then, just this evening, as I took a break from chopping, dishwashing, and praying for the turkey to thaw, I came up with this:
Upset the Table (Nov. 22, 2023)
The only other significant item to discuss at this moment is the 60th anniversary of John F. Kennedy’s assassination. (Don’t worry — I have not, and never would, attempt to put a humorous spin on that tragedy.) I was in second grade when it happened and can clearly remember the announcement made over the school’s P.A. system that he’d been shot.
I’ve been to Dallas a few times, but only once did I have a chance outside of whatever meeting I’d flown in for to see the city. That time, I drove out to Love Field and then retraced the path of JFK’s motorcade. Upon reaching Dealey Plaza, I parked and visited the Sixth Floor Museum at the former Texas School Book Depository. You can stand mere feet from the window through which Lee Harvey Oswald took aim, which gave me chills.
I won’t get into any of the speculation, non-stop since that fateful day, regarding the number of shots taken, whether there was a second gunman, was Oswald actually involved at all, etc. Now, conspiracy theories in general… that's a topic I could attempt to put a humorous spin on.
But not right now… gotta go do a little Reiki energy flow on that turkey and see if I can get it in shape for tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving and/or whatever you do or don’t celebrate this time of year. I’ll see you again sometime around December’s onslaught of festivities.